


A Textbook Kill

by 5_Minute_Fics



Series: Pieces of Life [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 23:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5985165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5_Minute_Fics/pseuds/5_Minute_Fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex thinks about Kara's perfect world.  After the events of 1x13</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Textbook Kill

Alex Danvers sat on the cold ground, her legs stretched out in front of her. She reached into the inside pocket of her jacket and pulled out a half-pint of her favorite whiskey. She gave the top a twist, inwardly smiling at the cracking of the safety seal around the mouth of the bottle. She loved that sound. She took a big swallow from the bottle and let it rest in her mouth for a second, before gulping it down. She loved the sensation in her mouth, and the warm feeling of the whiskey as it moved through her. She imagined it making its way through her entire body. The perfect salve for the perfect pain.

Alex looked at her phone. It had been less than an hour since she left Kara crying herself to sleep on her couch. James and Winn had joined Kara and Alex for the evening, to make sure Kara was ok, and to celebrate her recovery from the Black Mercy. The guys left about an hour before Alex did, giving Kara some much needed privacy with her sister. For the rest of her time there, Alex held Kara as tight as she could and promised her that everything would be ok. The same promise she had been making since they were kids.

When Alex was convinced that Kara was all cried out, she let herself out of the apartment and headed up here to her 'safe place.' It was the one spot in the city where Alex felt safe enough to relax and get lost in her thoughts. Though it didn't seem so safe the last time she was here, when Astra paid her a surprise visit. That wouldn't happen again. Alex had seen to that.

Alex mindlessly played with the bottle in her hands. Why had she killed Astra? She could have done so many other things. She could have hit her with something. Shot her with Kryptonite ammo. Hell, she probably could have asked her to let J'onn go. Astra would have let him go. For Kara.

Alex chuckled. "For Kara." She took another drink. "The whole world moves for Kara."

Alex loved her sister dearly, there was no question of that. She was blood family to her; it didn't matter to Alex that Kara wasn't a Danvers until they were both teenagers. Sure, life changed when Kara came along. Suddenly Alex was someone's big sister, and she had all the responsibilities that went with it ... she was a guardian, a teacher, a mentor. Unfortunately she also ended up with all of the responsibilities that come with finding a fucking alien in your driveway. She loved Kara so much, but Kara had no idea how hard it was to be her sister. Alex was to blame for what Kara didn't know. Alex was to blame for all of Kara's innocent mistakes. 

Then Jeremiah went missing, and life changed again. Eliza held on to Kara a little tighter after that. She pushed Alex a little harder. "You can't let anything happen to her. Your father would not allow it, and neither can we." Alex had lost her father, her playmate, her protector, her friend. The first man she ever loved, the finest man she had ever known. But instead of grieving, instead of crying on her mother's shoulder, she had to be strong for Kara. "If it hurts this much to lose your father," Eliza would say, "imagine how much she must be hurting."

"She lost her whole planet, Alexandra." Alex said out loud. 

Yes, Alex loved her sister more than anything, but there was no question that life changed forever when Kara became part of the family. Her father disappeared, her mother ignored her, and she even put aside her own dreams. "I wanted to be a doctor." She whispered to herself, before taking another sip from her bottle. "I would have been a good doctor."

And then the Black Mercy attacked, and Alex realized just how much she needed Kara. Thank God Astra had found her in time to help her sister. 

"Astra." Alex whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

Astra had shown Alex how to enter into Kara's "perfect world" so that she could convince Kara to reject it. When Alex found out how to save her sister, she didn't hesitate. She didn't ask if it would hurt. She dove head first into Kara's fantasy world and left instructions not to touch her until the mission was complete. "I either come back with my sister, or I don't come back at all." 

And when she got there, she was on Krypton. Kara's perfect world was on Krypton, with her Kryptonian family. There was no Earth. There was no Danvers family. There was no Alex Danvers, who had built her life around her sister. There was no Eliza Danvers, who always put Kara before her own daughter. And there was no Jeremiah Danvers, who had indirectly lost his life because of Kara. In the one place where Kara could have given him life, she hadn't even given him a thought. 

"I have no sister," Kara had said, when Alex confronted her in the dream. 

That was Kara's perfect fantasy life. Back with the people who destroyed their own planet and sent their babies and their criminals to Earth. Back where there are no Danvers.

"Jesus Christ, Kara." Alex took another drink.

Of course, Alex understood why Kara would want to be at her first home, with her first parents. Hell, if she had been taken by the Black Mercy, she probably would have gone back to her own childhood too. Embraced the 'mercy' of the parasite while letting the 'black' take her out of this world. It would be a graceful way to go. And who would care? 

But Alex had gone into Kara's paradise and pulled her out of it, forcing Kara to face the loss of her perfect home and family all over again. And then a few hours later, she killed her sister's aunt. Drove a Kryptonite blade straight through her. The woman who secretly longed to repair the relationship with her niece. The woman Kara would have done anything to save. 

Astra was so close to starting a new chapter in her life. Alex was cautiously optimistic for Kara, and mildly intrigued by the possibility of learning from Astra. The woman was the enemy, but she handled herself with a strong, regal composure. Alex liked that. 

Alex kept coming back to that moment, when she ran her blade through Astra's back. It was a textbook kill. She saved a fellow agent. Killed an enemy in battle. There would be no repercussions for this with the DEO. It was the right thing to do. 

Except it wasn't. Because Alex didn't really think Astra would kill Hank. She thought that Astra would let Hank go. She would surrender herself, or become an ally. She would do whatever she had to do, to be a part of Kara's life again. When Alex killed Astra, she wasn't thinking that Astra was a threat to Hank. She was thinking one very primitive thought:

_Fuck Krypton._

She hadn't meant to think it. It just happened.

"I'm sorry Kara," she cried. "I'm so sorry." She kept crying for a long time.

Sometime during the night, Alex crawled into the front seat of her SUV and fell asleep. That's where Hank Henshaw found her the next morning.

"Alex!" He shouted, opening the driver side door. "Agent Danvers wake up!"

Alex startled awake, blinked her eyes open a few times, and then looked over at her boss. She was groggy, and the sun was behind him, but she could see he was pissed. He held her empty whiskey bottle in his hand.

_Oh, shit._

**Author's Note:**

> There is a scene missing between Kara's Faith and this one. It will come later. I hope you like the piece. I'm @comicgirlgeek on tumblr if you'd like to follow.


End file.
